Valentine's Day is a time of love, sharing and remembering why your relationship is important to you. As one of the most romantic days of the year, Valentine's Day should be a happy occasion, but the day can be the cause of the increase of domestic abuse and sexual violence aggression.
One of the major forms of sexual violence that can occur during this time is date rape as during this day of love, an unreasonable level of expectancy can develop by someone who might have showed or expressed love to you through a gift or action. However, this does not give that individual the right to force himself on anyone.Date rape is a scary topic. It is hard to believe that someone you know and trust would ever hurt you. However, it does happen and it is never your fault. You cannot always prevent it happening, but there are ways to lower the risk.
Date rape
Date rape refers to rape committed by a person, who could be a friend, acquaintance or stranger, against a victim. It is commonly referred to as a drug facilitated sexual assault or an acquaintance rape. Sexual assault is any sexual act done to someone without consent. Drug facilitated sexual assault is any sexual assault where alcohol and/or drugs affect the victim's ability to give informed consent. Acquaintance rape is an assault or attempted assault usually committed by a new acquaintance involving sexual intercourse without consent.With the increase in technology, it has become easier to communicate from a distance, or with someone that is a total stranger. Utilizing the Internet many people start relationships that begin in cyberspace but can eventually move from behind the computer screen to more personal and intimate relationship. However, this does not always mean the person you might have begun a relationship with online is the same one you will meet in person. Regardless of the circumstance in which you meet another person you should always take steps to protect yourself.Even when meeting people in a conventional manner you have to be careful and do what you can to protect yourself, and ensure your safety at all times.
No means no
During this season of love, going out on a romantic date is something to enjoy and look forward too. Dating is normal, respectable and should be an enjoyable way to meet and get to know new people. Many intimate and lasting relationships or even friendships can come out of dating.However, this does not mean it does not have its dangerous side, where a person can be placed in harm's way and be placed in a circumstance where they are abused, assaulted, raped or even lose their lives. This does not just happen to teenagers, but to more experienced and mature individuals as well. The following are tips you can follow whether a teen or adult to ensure you can enjoy dating to its fullest and still remain safe.Always remember you have the right to say no even if:
o You have been drinking.
o You have had sex previously.
o You have been making out.
o You are dressed in sexy clothes.
o You think he or she will be mad with you.
o You have said yes before, but have now changed your mind.
o Be careful, and trust your instincts.
o It is safer to stay in a group of friends or with another couple.
o Try not to be alone with someone you do not know well or with whom you feel uncomfortable.
Signs of date rape
o When someone forces you to have sex.
o Someone is threatening to hurt you.
o Not stopping when you say no.
o Forcing you down.
o Having sex with you when you are too drunk to say no.
o Tells you that if you do not give in, they will tell other people you had sex with them.
o Threatening you that something bad will happen if you do not give in.
o Threatening to harm himself if you do not give in.
Communicate clearly
o Say no very clearly and firmly to anyone who is pushing you to have sex with them.
o Remember if the person does not listen to your saying no, it is not your fault.
o Do not be afraid of hurting someone's feelings if you say no.
Be in control.
o Being in control means that you say what you want and mean it.
o Call a friend or family member if you feel unsafe.
o Avoid alcohol and drugs so that you can stay in control of the situation.
o Always have some money with you so you can call a taxi.
o Make sure your cell phone has minutes so you can make a call if you feel unsafe.
Danger signs
o If you feel uncomfortable with a person standing too close to you or staring at you, it is not a good idea to be alone with that person.
o If the person does not listen to you at other times, they may not listen to you when you are alone and want to make your feelings clear about having sex.
o Anyone who seems to enjoy making you uncomfortable is not someone you should be alone with.
If you are afraid to say no
o If you feel it is unsafe for you to say no, make an excuse to leave to go the bathroom and make a call to a friend or family member to come and pick you up.
o If you have to lie to protect yourself that is okay ... your safety is the most important thing.
If the person does not listen to you
o Say it again -- very loudly and clearly. Say "stop, this is rape!"
What to do if the person continues to assault you
o Try to stay calm and decide what to do for the best.
o Try to talk the person out of assaulting you.
o Run away.
o If you feel you can fight back, push away the attacker.
o Shout very loudly.
o If it is not safe to fight back or get away and you are raped, it is still not your fault.
Get help
o If you are raped, get help as soon as possible. Go to the doctor or hospital and call the police. Call a friend or family member to accompany you to give you support.
Dating can be a fun and enjoyable experience, however, at all times do whatever is within your power to ensure it is also safe.
o You can call the Crisis Centre at 328-0922 or 322-4999. If you are in immediate danger, telephone the police at 919 or 911. For more information check out our website at www.bahamascrisiscentre.org or contact us or email bahamascrisiscentre@yahoo.com.
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