"Haunted Mansion" (US Rated PG-13)
Cast: LaKeith Stanfield, Rosario Dawson, Owen Wilson, Tiffany Haddish, Danny DeVito
Genre: Comedy/ Fantasy
Where to watch: In theaters
Dwight's Rating: 2 Stars of 4
August!
Ahhh August!
The last full month of the summer (besides the 20-odd days in September)! We're at about the mid-point of the season. And after a particularly brutal summer, many are looking forward to sweater-weather, and some probably are even longing for blizzards.
But in the movie business, August is often as bleak as a winter's day. And flicks released during this month - much like the new releases in the first two months of any new year - don't really have high expectations.
So, even though "Haunted Mansion" - also being advertised as "Disney's Haunted Mansion" - was officially released on July 28, this is clearly an August picture. And its debut at this time of year brings so many questions.
For example: With the word "Haunted" in the title, why not release this in October - when it would be closer to Halloween? Or even September?
And: That title "Haunted Mansion": why does that sound familiar? How many different Haunted Mansion-like movies have there been? Wasn't there even one called "The Haunted Mansion" 20-years ago starring Eddie Murphy, which was also a Disney movie, and also based on the theme park?
Also: Would anybody go to see this movie, especially with "Barbie" fever, and the "Barbenheimer" effect still in effect?
Well, just like the new movie, the answers are a mixed bag. The box office numbers in the US were certainly disappointing, especially taking into account the "Haunted Mansion" budget. The film opened behind the "Barbenheimer" duo.
Again, August is the throw-away period of the summer blockbuster season. While it's still very hot (and rainy here), many people's minds are slowly turning away from the beach and squeezing in the last bit of summer vacation days to "back-to-school" or traveling abroad for school.
As such, you'll see a shift in the types of movies released over the next few weeks. They'll be geared toward niche audiences.
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem", opens today, primarily for the kids. For people into foolishness, there's "The Meg 2: The Trench" – another installment of that ridiculous shark movie. Then we've got an R-rated comedy about dogs called "Strays", for only God knows who.
Plus, there's a whole lot more outrageous and over-the-top horror movies like "The Last Voyage of the Demeter" about Dracula, that will make an amusing "horror" like "Haunted Mansion" really look like a joke.
While the above might sound appealing to some of you, if you miss any of this, you'll probably save a few brain cells. But if you see August as the best time of year to use movie theaters as a getaway to beat the heat and the summer downpours, then "Haunted Mansion" might be perfect for you.
In the film, a woman (Rosario Dawson) and her son (13-year-old Chase Dillon) enlist a motley crew of so-called spiritual experts to help rid their home of supernatural squatters.
Give "Haunted Mansion" some credit for trying. It looks like there was certainly a sizable budget for visual effects. And it "possesses" all the elements to be a much better movie.
The biggest problem is that it's too conflicted on exactly what it's supposed to be. That prevents it from being any good at what it's trying to be - which again isn't entirely clear, all the time.
So, it's not exactly a good horror movie. And yes, even with a huge and talented cast - like Oscar nominee LaKeith Stanfield ("Judas and the Black Messiah"), Dawson, the supremely talented Danny DeVito, and funny folks Tiffany Haddish and Owen Wilson, along with Oscar-winners Jared Leto ("Dallas Buyers Club") and Jamie Lee Curtis ("Everything Everywhere All at Once"), and cameos by Daniel Levy ("Schitt's Creek") and Winona Ryder - the focus at times (but only sometimes) is on the 13-year-old Dillon.
That awkwardly forces the picture to tip-toe around the more mature content for which Haddish and Wilson and DeVito are known, as it seeks a family-friendly stamp of approval.
Then there's the "scary" part. "Haunted Mansion" really isn't a true horror movie, but it does get a bit dark. You'll likely not be surprised that Jared Leto is the primary reason. The themes associated with his character further contribute to the confusion here. What are we trying to do? Be a comedy with ghosts? Or scare the living daylights out of kids - just after two adults laugh at a joke in a theater?
That brings us to Stanfield. Honestly, he's the very best reason to watch "Haunted Mansion". But his talents are wasted here.
At a couple of particularly poignant moments (yes, poignant), Stanfield delivers moving and emotional, tear-filled performances. But it feels like you're watching an adult Lawrence Olivier or Katharine Hepburn (or Meryl Streep or Daniel Day-Lewis for younger readers) in a junior high school play.
Stanfield is too good for this! He's an Oscar-nominated actor. Put some respect on his name! And don't waste his time in a movie with "Disney's" in front of the title.
You'd do better to watch reruns of CBS' hilarious and quite similar (but much better focused) sitcom "Ghosts".
Or perhaps you should actually go to see "Haunted Mansion" to soak up that air-conditioning. It's not an awful movie, but it's one that needed a couple of exorcisms before its release.
• Dwight Strachan is the host/producer of "Morning Blend" on Guardian Radio and station manager. He is a television producer and writer, and an avid TV history and film buff. Email dwight@nasguard.com and follow him on twitter @morningblend969.
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