Validation from within is a treasure that women are constantly searching for in the forts and castles, but Miss Bahamas Universe 2021 Chantel O'Brian says what if women did not need to be rescued from their life? And what if they were their own hero?

O'Brian weighed in on the topic "Perfection is a Myth" during a talk given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. During the talk, she proclaimed that she is a recovering perfectionist, but at the same token believes that lessons are better in practice than in theory. O'Brian said given her long list of mistakes, she has proven that right. And that one of the things that she has learned is when a person is able to shift their focus from what they can get from their dreams and goals to what their dreams and goals can get from them - they can take on the world, and they can change the trajectory of their life.

"Perfection is a myth is living uniquely with the consequences of being flawed and being okay with living in your own truth," said O'Brian. "Many times, we are told what to do with our lives - to remain in the castle, be afraid of the dragon, and wait to be rescued, when in actuality, we have the inner power to save ourselves by choosing our own standards - by straightening our backs, squaring our shoulders and walking in the understanding that perfection is a myth because we dictate our merit, our journey, our dreams, and our reaction to life's never-ending plot twists."

And depending on who is telling the story, O'Brian said there will be plot holes which makes being your own hero not easy.

Practice

"It takes risk. It takes courage. It takes bravery. And for this we need PR - practice and rescue."

O'Brian encourages women and people to practice getting up from their disappointments. She spoke to getting up from hers.

"In 2013, I competed for the Miss Universe Bahamas title - I didn't win. The following year I decided to try a new pageant system, Miss World Bahamas - I didn't win. I tried again the following year, and I won. A feat you would think I now had the opportunity to represent The Bahamas at Miss World in Sanya, China. You think, finally; yet later, I found myself struggling as an entrepreneur and getting up from an eviction notice at the hands of the COVID 19 pandemic and my belief, this could not all be what others imagined for my life. Exactly eight years later, I found myself right where I began - vying for the Universe Bahamas title."

O'Brian made history when she became the first Bahamian woman to place at the Miss Universe competition during its 70th competition. She was also the third in Bahamian history to hold two of the country's prestigious titles.

O'Brian who founded P.S. O'Brian Consulting and who specializes in helping women walk confidently on a stage, in a room, with doing interviews, and engagements much like TEDx, said during her "seasons" that she thought were so much less than perfect, that her "wings" were gone and that her journey could only look one way - the perfect way.

"My discovery led me to realize that no matter what your pursuits may be, that there are answers in the plot twist that life will significantly and annoyingly hold. I won a competition that eight years prior I had contended for, and went on to become the first Bahamian woman to place at Miss World with a top 10 finish. I am now the third Bahamian woman to compete and win two of the world's international titles. Now why would these things be more significant than my initial victory? Perfection would say that it is. But imperfection with maturity would make you wonder, what if the most imperfect moments of your life, hold the most valuable outcomes for your life."

Rescue

O'Brian urged women to rescue themselves from enabling pressures that lead to procrastination and anxiety. She said when they let go off the expectations and deal with the presented, that they will impress themselves. And that they will find that they can be their own hero and that the only props that they will ever really need are grit, determination, and faith as opposed to what the popular fairytales extol, that a princess needs to be rescued by a knight in shining armor after being held hostage by an evil queen or some other dangerous villain - or the other props - a wand, a glass slipper, pea, an apple, or hair as rope."

She encouraged women to take a drive on a Sunday evening and just enjoy the breeze because a destination isn't their main focus and that the drive is about enjoying the curves and bends that they will experience.

"Being on the pageant stage at 19-years-old with well-rounded women where I had no degree, no titles, unsure of my career path, clueless but curious - I wanted to be rescued. Pageantry was one of my fairytales," she said. "But as I practiced getting up from the didn't work outs, or maybe next times, and applying persistency, resilience, faith in God and a whole lot of guts, I was able to move forward with a business in one hand, a degree in another, and even more impossible dreams peeking through."

O'Brian said perfection as the world sees it doesn't exist.

"In this book called reality, you slay your dragons. You figure out how to unlock your own doors even if that means trying keys that do not work. To my clients I say, perfection means you can only try once. Practice means you can try again."

O'Brian said perfection says that there is only one story that is worth telling. She said when a woman rescues herself, they commandeer what story is being told.

"Life isn't about outperforming others in some drama or musical where in your head you don't even play the lead role. It's about casting your scenes accordingly and playing along with the antagonist that life will constantly, undoubtedly, throw your way. And if you're lucky, you'll have the end credits that show that there is more to come from the pain, the tears and the frustration.

"Overcome your obstacles for you and not by comparing it to social media highlights or influencers. It's okay if your business hasn't taken off as yet. You might not be at the university of your choice. Your talent hasn't been discovered as yet. Maybe you haven't won your pageant. I am a recovering perfectionist. I fear no judgment in this and neither should you - because if you are able to get up from your failure, that means you're that much closer to success, and if you can see the mountain, you can most assuredly climb it," she said.

"As a young girl, I grew up in an inner-city community and like many, my fairytale dreams did not always quite fit my reality. Often, I would crouch my body low, slumped in posture, in hindsight ... possibly survival mode as I tried to map out the most ideal way to navigate my education, and later on my career, my love for pageantry and many of my goals."

She said to live differently, one must understand progress over perfection. And that perfection comes in three's - socially prescribed, believing that others expect you to be perfect; self-oriented, imposing unreasonably high standards on oneself; and other-oriented, inflicting ridiculously high standards on others.

O'Brian's TEDx talk on "Perfection is a Myth" sought to debunk the illusion of perfection.

O'Brian encouraged embracing imperfections as integral parts of the human experience, arguing that true progress and personal growth lie not in the pursuit of perfection, but in the acceptance and appreciation of each person's unique flaws.

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