People "touch" each other's lives every day, and, as such, it is important to understand how a relationship with oneself and others can affect a person's core happiness. Even with the best communication and the best of intentions, the smallest things can grow into huge problems, which in turn can cause lasting damage, according to Maggie Bain, relationship and intimacy specialist.

Bain said relationships can be complex and without due care and attention, a person's discontent can have a ripple effect on their children, family, friends, and co-workers.

"By dealing with problems early, you will undoubtedly be able to find a peace of mind and a deeper satisfaction in life," said Bain. "Once your mind becomes clearer, then you may be surprised to find your physical health improves. Well-being becomes your whole self."

Bain specializes in helping individuals and couples achieve more satisfaction in their relationships and the bedroom. For over 10 years, she has been showing people how to get truthfully naked with each other to deepen their intimacy and reignite their desire for each other.

"A sex therapist helps people with all aspects of their sexual health, which can include libido, hormonal changes, aging ... to name a few. What people fail to understand is that relations inside and outside the bedroom are intertwined, and this is where the complexity occurs," said Bain. "Not knowing how to correct the issue can heighten the problem and make things worse. This is why my work involves the whole relationship, including intimacy."

The most common misconception she has found people have when it comes to her work is that they think that other people's private lives are better, more exciting and more adventurous than their own, which she said is not necessarily true. She said when things are off balance in a person's relationship, it is easy for them to look outward and compare.

She said people who seek out her services are those feeling unhappy, confused, frustrated or desperate.

"When you are feeling off balance and having thoughts of hopelessness in a relationship, it is so important to ask advice from a specialist. Before you end a relationship, I would recommend you come and talk with me to see if there may be a workable solution to your situation. Sometimes, we can all get stuck with our own perception on things and the more we tell ourselves something, we believe it to be true. We cannot see our partner's point of view and we hit a brick wall and nothing changes. By wanting things to improve and allowing me to guide you, I am confident that you will find some clarity, and know how to move forward in your life."

Her cognitive behavioral approach, personalized to meet specific client goals, empowers them to address their hidden wounds of abandonment, neglect, and other relationship problems while staying focused on immediate solutions to resolve conflict.

She also said her work is not all about problems.

"Some people search out a sex therapist to learn how to enhance their already happy intimate life. They understand there is more to the depth of understanding sensuality that they can share with each other."

Who needs a therapist

Her doors she said are open to everyone and for all types of relationships - whether they are single, dating, living together, or married.

Bain said she is always impressed when young people seek her out.

"They are investing in themselves."

She said many of them visit her prior to making a commitment to each other.

"They understand the power of taking preventative action and making sure that they learn good habits, so that they can have lifelong healthy relationships."

She said a lot of people are surprised how easily they open up and how comfortable they feel talking with her.

"This is because I understand and have compassion for what they are experiencing. My approach is always

non-judgmental and unbiased. I am known to fight for each person in the relationship and my goals are their goals. By uncovering what is really going on within your relationship, I am able to find workable solutions and guide you to recreate a more satisfying relationship."

She finds that many people want to come and talk to her by themselves because they feel they need to discuss alone. Other times she said there is a partner who is reluctant or completely refuses to speak with her, but that they come for themselves to learn how to best manage their life.

"However, relationships can change over our lifetime and many find themselves single again. No matter the length of a partnership, the ending can be very painful. Friends and family are not always the best people to confide in or get advice from as they may have their own personal viewpoint, which can be weighted with judgment. Choosing professional help provides an unbiased perspective focusing only on your happiness."

At the onset of a client consultation, Bain sets the record straight – her services are hands-off which she said is a humorous way to break the ice as well as people's natural curiosity.

"Once I go on to describe it as talk therapy, then everyone relaxes and we can all move forward. My background as a nurse, midwife, gynecology/infertility, and plastic surgery have provided me with invaluable experience in counseling people during times of pain, grief, and making difficult choices and decisions."

The other misconception she has found is that people look at her as a miracle worker with a magic wand, which she said is far from the truth.

"What I am is an intuitive guide who not only will walk with you, but will teach you how to have more joy in your life," said Bain, who is practicing out of the Family Medicine Center on Blake Road.

Three suggestions to start today

As Valentine's Day is observed, Bain's advice to people wanting to deepen their intimacy is to introduce new habits and to consciously practice them, so that they become a natural part of their connection.

Bain encourages couples to set aside 15 minutes daily for uninterrupted sharing with each other. She said this means turning off all devices, face each other with eye contact, be patient with each other, and take turns listening to each other without giving an opinion – unless asked.

This practice may be new to most people, but she said it can help pull couples together.

She also encourages people to think back to when they first met and tell each other what flirty move they did that they liked and responded to.

"Both of you agree to reintroduce or do more of the things that make each other happy," she said.

Bain also encourages people to try to remember the last time they passionately kissed their partner.

"For many couples who want to feel the passion again in their relationship, this is the quickest and most effective way to rekindle the heat."

The therapist described intimacy as a closeness of which there are many forms.

"It is a sense of comfort to be able to relax and be your true self. This results in sharing and confiding with someone that does not occur with everyone. Sexual intimacy is reserved for our intimate partner and is the bond that joins."

Bain's office is located on the third floor at Family Medicine Center, which she said has been designed to be quiet and discreet. She recommends her 10-minute introductory consultation for people who would like to see if her therapy would help their relationship. She also offers one-hour to an hour-and-a-half consultations.

For people on the Family Islands, or anyone who would prefer to not do in-person visits, she also offers Zoom consultations. Her services are not covered by health insurance.

Click here to read more at The Nassau Guardian