Let's face it, having a baby changes your life, your perspective, and gives new meaning to the most simple things for both the new mother and father. You have now gone from just the two of you, to three of you overnight, and it is an adjustment for both parents. Today, I'm offering advice to the daddies out there on their newfound role.
If your wife or partner has spent nine months pregnant, uncomfortable, irritable, swollen and bloated, the least you can do is be in the room coaching her along, when she is delivering. I know what you're thinking -- I'm just not good with seeing all of that; I don't even like needles and the sight of blood may make me queasy. The awesome part about choosing to overcome your discomfort is that deciding to be present shows your partner that you are a team, and that she is supported. You get to witness your child being born, hear their first cry and watch them take their first breath. It truly is like watching a miracle, so don't begrudge yourself that opportunity, you can never get that moment back.
In the beginning, a lot of men feel a little left out because the baby is constantly attached to the mother, especially if the mother is breastfeeding, so men feel they can't participate in the whole experience, but you can. Offer to bathe the baby or to change the baby's diapers. Yes, diaper changing is a man's job as well. I know what you're thinking -- I can't handle the smell of dirty diapers, it makes me gag. Really? Man up!
Be kind and careful with your words. A woman's body does go through many changes both internally and externally. To support her baby's growth and development, she will need to gain some weight. Other pregnancy side effects like swelling and bloating can also alter a woman's body. Asking questions like, "How long does it take to get your body back to normal?" and making innocent comments like, "Heidi Klum got rid of her belly right after birth," just days after your wife or partner has delivered, understandably, will not go over well. I know what you're thinking -- it was just a question and you didn't mean to be offensive. But in reality, no matter how you put it, it will not be taken the way you might have intended it to. It's best to avoid the topic altogether. Trust me, she wants her old body back much more than you do.
Maneuvering through the changes of becoming a parent can be tricky, but the best way to ride the waves, is to always show your love and support no matter how icky and uncomfortable some things may seem. If you really want to get answers to your questions, talk to your guy friends that have kids. They know the deal and can help alleviate some of those new daddy fears.
Love and hugs!
o Bianca Carter is a certified lactation counselor (CLC), and founder of Bun in the Oven. For more information, give us a call at 601-6977 or visit us at the Harbour Bay Shopping Plaza, next to Starbucks. Follow us on facebook at babybunintheoven, email us at info@babybunintheoven.com, visit us at www.babybunintheoven.com.

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