Sexuality is a part of every person's identity, but sexuality is not supposed to take preeminence over a person and the moral, ethical thinking part of their being is supposed to constantly be the "quarterback" that makes the call for people to do the right thing, according to a clinical psychologist.
In a digitally dominant age, social media has impacted teens' view of intimacy. Historically, sexual material had been distributed by means of photographs and videos. Then along came the Internet through which electronic devices and social media outlets changed the game of sexual exchanges. The modern technological advances made sexual exchanges much easier and more powerful than ever before. With the click of a button, a picture can be distributed to many people instantaneously. Teenagers have been oversharing and offering far more insight into their private lives than they have ever done before.
While this is not a new phenomenon in The Bahamas, many Bahamian teens have engaged in "sexting", a word that originated around 2005, blending sex and text, which means sending, receiving or forwarding sexual photos or sexually suggestive messages through text message or email. Video recordings that can be sent with the click of a mouse became easily shared and have embarrassed many a teen. When you're a public figure and everybody knows your name, the public glare is daunting.
Last week social media buzzed as grainy, still images of a semi-nude teen became public, as people wondered whether the pictures were doctored -- then the video of the teen hit the social media sites. People were for the most part shocked to see the teenager in that light.
No longer kids behind the almond tree
Clinical psychologist Dr. Wayne Thompson said because of technology "it's no longer two kids in the back of the yard behind the almond tree -- let me show you," he said. "Young people must know and come to understand that the sexual part of them does not give thought to the whole picture of life, so if you want to avoid pitfalls, do not allow your sexual part to make choices for your life."
Dr. Thompson said teenagers using technology to transmit sexually explicit material is a concern. In his practice he said he's had to deal with children who are as young as eighth grade age engaging in sexual practices, with children as young as age 10 actually giving birth. He said many teens look at the use of the Internet as a way to get their kicks and have fun, as they believe no one will see what they do.
"They're still responding to it as if this is exactly the same impact as when it was done 40 years ago, when it was only two kids in the back of the yard behind the almond tree -- let me show you," he said.
A teen's psyche
The clinical psychologist said what teenagers must come to realize is that in their teenage years they do not have fully developed psyches which he said consists of three parts -- the Id, the ego and the super-ego. The part that's developed from the inception of birth, the Id, is where the pleasure zone is and is about having fun. The super-ego is what causes people to make the right judgment and he said it needs to be nurtured and developed.
The doctor further said that social media has become a replacement for the development and the worth of a person, which he said is dangerous, because their worth is supposed to be cultivated and developed through the people that are closest to them -- parents and siblings.
"Because we're such a dysfunctional, imbalanced society, social media is being used to fill a lot of that to our detriment, so what you find is that there are a lot of persons whose confidence and self-esteem is very low and they actually use people's response on social media to say that they are valued, and as a result of this they've been taken full advantage of," said Dr. Thompson, speaking generally and not to any specific case.
The highest ratio of people that fall victim to sexual exploitation via social media according to the psychologist are between the ages of 10 and 25.
He said the 10- to 17-year-olds do it for one reason, while the 18- to 25-year-olds do it for another reason. According to the doctor, the younger group usually does not place sufficient thought on their actions before they do it, which he said usually refers to their Id syndrome versus the development of the super-ego. He said the 18- to 25-year-olds usually do it for a sense of worth and value, and have a need for acceptance as social media encourages them to push the envelope and go further.
"That second category has a different perspective as to why they do it. They are proving that they're out there, that they're liberated and don't give two hoots about what the world says [and] 'this is me'. But those persons are also lost and searching for meaning as well."
Helping your child move forward
For any teenager that may have had sexually explicit messages or images of themselves made public, Dr. Thompson said the most important thing for parents is to not panic and begin to brutalize and become violent towards the child because of shame and guilt. He said The Bahamas is a society that loves to make fun of people's difficulties.
"Our society is deeply insensitive and inhumane. Bahamians like to pretend as if they're deeply conscious and sensitive to others and know they are not. We're the kind of society where we would say inappropriate things without giving a thought to it."
Dr. Thompson said parents, when dealing with a child that has had to endure the embarrassment of having images released online, should recognize that there could be a need for them to have an independent person to assist the child in making adjustments to their values. The professional assisting the person should first separate the act from the person.
"Do not erase the person as being completely no good. The one act was not a good one, but do not allow the one act to cloud the entire worth and value of the person," said Dr. Thompson.
He also said the person going through the experience would need to be assessed as to their coping skills - as not everyone's toleration levels are the same - to come up with a determination as to how to handle the situation.
Adding that all human beings are sexual beings, he said people have to have an understanding and an appreciation for how sexuality is supposed to be used, but he said the lines have become "gray" due to social media as well as main line media and the programming on television that he said could not have been approved 15 years ago.
Click here to read more at The Nassau Guardian
