Being a parent means more than providing for your children's physical needs. It also means ensuring your children feel that they are protected, secure and loved.
Many children and even some adults feel their parents never truly loved or cared about them. Although their parents provided the material needs they required, emotionally they do not feel truly valued by their parents. In the parents' eyes, as long as they are providing what is necessary for their child's material survival they feel they are showing that they love them.
Sometimes it is difficult for children to believe their parents love them when they hear comments such as "You are so stupid"; "I wish you had never been born"; "You are just like your no-good pa"; "My life was wonderful before you came along"; "You were a mistake"; or "Go away, I can't look at your work now, I am too busy." How can they feel loved?
In most cases, when parents say things like that, it is not because they do not love you. They do love you -- it is just that they may be having a bad day, or maybe someone at work annoyed them, or their workload is too heavy and they feel they cannot cope. Sometimes parents are going through their own problems with each other, including fighting all the time.
Many parents, especially mothers, are single parents. This means that they have no support and no help with their children. They may be worrying about money and bills to pay. There are many things that stress parents these days.
This does not mean it is okay for them to call you names or say bad things to you -- it is not okay. It also does not mean that they do not love you. They do love you but just do not know how to show it.
Things you should remember:
Your parents do love you.
You deserve to be love.
No one should be saying bad things to you or calling you names.
You are special.
No one should beat you.
If your parents are stressed out, it is not your fault.
Some parents find it difficult to show love because no one showed them love when they were growing up.
This does not mean they do not love you.
Stress can make people say some really bad things to each other, but it is not okay.
If you feel your parents do not love you
You may feel very sad.
Feel lonely and depressed.
Feel that you are a bad person.
Think that no one can ever love you.
Not be able to concentrate in school.
Not eat or sleep well.
Wish you could run away from home.
Feel that no one would understand.
Find yourself crying a lot.
Have stomachaches or headaches.
It is normal to have any of these feelings.
If you feel your parents do not love you
Try to talk to them about how you feel.
Tell them it hurts you when they call you names or say bad things to you.
If you do not feel comfortable talking to them, talk to someone else, such as another family member, a teacher or pastor.
Write down your feelings and give it to someone you trust. As parents and guardians, life can be very hectic and stressful. We do our best to ensure our children have all of the necessary material aspects of their lives, however we must always remember our children need to know that they are loved not just by our actions, but by our words and the feelings and attitudes we show them.
You are a special individual and everyone deserves to be loved.

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