Hey, if you hated last week's movie reviews, I'm sorry, 'cause here's more.  Now, you don't have to agree with me and of course, you may think to yourself, "Why on earth does Dr. Strachan watch movies like these?"  The last question is off limits.  I'm a critic.  I'm an artist.  I'm a scholar.  I must observe the world around me.  And I like movies.  All kinds.
 
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2
A series finale is a hard, hard thing to pull off.  I still remember watching the Return of the Jedi (the end of the Star Wars trilogy) with all this anticipation.  I thought then and still think now that the Empire Strikes Back was the better film.  Same with the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  The second installment was the best.  The last went on for too long.  In the case of Harry Potter, "the last one" was actually two movies and close to six hours.  Sounds crazy but I wish it had been one ridiculously long film.  I would have appreciated it more.  As it stands Part 1 kicks Part 2's butt.  Still, I watched the final episode end with a certain sadness; it was like a phase of my life was over. (Melodramatic, I know).  It wasn't bad; it's just I thought Lord Voldemort was defeated too easily in the final show down with Harry.  Very blah, I thought.  Still, fine cinema.
Grade: B+
 
Cowboys and Aliens
Great cast.  Silly story.  And really cheesy aliens.  I liked the re-writing of history, the fantasy alliance between Indians and Pale Skins against the new colonizers, but I just think Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig deserved a better story.  Craig is awesome as the man with no name by the way (Clint Eastwood would be proud).
Grade: C+
 
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
All the Transformers movies are dumb.  And John Turturro is totally useless in all three.  It's a shame because I actually love him as an actor--he can do many things well, but he can't act the fool convincingly.  He's as bad at being comic relief as Patrick Dempsey is at being a villain.  And why, why does Tyrese even bother showing up?  He's just window dressing in this story about white boys.  But then again, the white boys are just window dressing in a story about amazing living machines.  But, having said that, the Transformers movies are awesome cinematic achievements from a special effects stand point.  And Optimus Prime is just one of the all time coolest cartoon characters.  And Dark of the Moon is certainly better than the second installment.  I just felt that the young woman whose backside fills the first frames sold her soul.  But that's not my problem, is it?
Grade: C+
 
Unknown
Sixty year old Liam Neeson is a fine actor.  Sensitivity and power all at once.  I'll never forget the first time I saw him in a film: Darkman, 1990 - a life time ago.  He's made a shift for Oscar-worthy dramas to action flicks.  Interesting.  I enjoyed Taken, which is a real satisfying revenge/daddy-to-the-rescue movie.  This one was a so-so brain teaser that just loses plausibility the longer it goes on.  Nice try but no prize.
Grade: C+
 
Bridesmaids
Awesome, awesome.  The coolest wedding movie I've seen in a long time.  People behaving badly and being totally shameless about it.  What could be funnier?  Quite a meditation on insecurity, petty jealousy, loneliness and self-absorption.  Made me feel so good about myself (wink wink).
Grade: A-
 
The Adjustment Bureau
What the heck was the point of this movie?  It started off promisingly but it got stupider and stupider with every scene.  Regrettable because the film offers us fascinating characters played by very fine actors (Matt Damon and Emily Blunt).  I just wish the characters had a story and the actors had a script.
Grade: D for dumb.
 
Rango
I saw this film Stateside in one of those AMC palaces with arena seating.  Magnifical!  What animation was meant to be.  The texture.  The detail.  The zest.  The grandeur.  The fun!  And then the Western patron saint of Cowboy flicks makes an appearance, Clint Eastwood: Cue the angelic choir.
Grade: A
 
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
I don't know about you but I'm tired.  Tired of Jack Sparrow.  I can't understand how Jack Sparrow isn't tired of Jack Sparrow.  Please, no more.  And yet, despite myself, despite my best efforts, I was pulled in.  I was rooting for this lousy hero once again.  Arrrrrrrrgh!
Grade: B-
 
Hanna
This is a satisfying film experience on many levels, not the least of which was watching Cate Blanchet rock the house, again.  Great cast.  Epic coming of age story.  Once again the creepy spies of Walmartland are up to no good.  Such a beautiful, confused, innocent, deadly avenging angel is Miss Ronan.  Bourne Identity for teen girls.  Love the climactic battle in the belly of the big bad wolf.
Grade: A-
 
That's it, see ya at Da Show.  Don't be late, you'll miss the trailers.
 
IAN STRACHAN is Associate Professor of English at The College of The Bahamas.

You can write him at strachantalk@gmail.com or visit www.ianstrachan.wordpress.com.

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