I know that last week I should have been celebrating International Women’s Day (March 8th), but I just did not feel that inspired at all.  Sadly, the last few months have been quite brutal for women in The Bahamas. We still do not have Marital Rape Laws, equality in citizenship, equality in pay, and opportunity, and fair, proportional representation in our government.  

I would have loved to have been thrilled about the day. I would have loved to celebrate with my daughter and reassure her that all would be well, that her life as a Bahamian woman would not be one exhausting battle after another. That she wouldn’t have to fight too hard to be seen as equal to her male counterparts. That she would never have to explain why her no means NO, or why she should get paid the same as a man doing the same work she will do. But, sadly we are still not there.

While I should have been happy to see women smiling and posing with the “break the bias” stance, which was featured all over our local newspapers and on social media – I wasn’t. I’m proud of the message “break the bias” held up by so many women (and some men). As women, we know the cost of that bias and inequality. It should have felt empowering, but it didn’t. Against the backdrop of the many stories of violence perpetrated against women locally, the gap between where we are and where we need to be is more glaring than ever. It feels superficial when our most fundamental rights, protection and access to opportunity remain so unequal and, simply, just wrong.

I don’t think I can blame this failure entirely on successive Governments. Members of government on both sides of the political divide have promised us and promised international bodies that they would make women’s rights a priority. They have regaled us with stories of how much they respect women, how they value the contributions of women, and how they want a fair and safe world for their own daughters…and yet NOTHING. In fact, these last few weeks have seen our elected officials back-peddle so far in this regard that they’ve now deemed the word rape TOO HARSH to assign to men who rape their wives. No matter how often they tell us that the rights of women are important, their actions tell us differently. We are still not where we need to be.

Even more distressing is how many women are also party to their continued oppression. The now-viral video of a woman speaking at a recent PLP men’s meeting ..” you know you’re not sexy, you’re not easily aroused...then stay single!”. Her contribution made me angry but I was equally devastated for the countless women in this country who suffer silently in their homes, those women dealing with such horrific family situations, women who I am sure don’t feel ‘ready’ or sexy when enduring abuse at the hands of their spouses. I don’t know the woman in the video but her comments were unbelievable. Unfortunately, as women, many of us don’t feel we should have the same rights, opportunities and protection men do. At first, I wanted an apology, not just for myself but to all women…but why single her out, after all, she is just one of the countless reasons why we are still in the same situation as we have been for decades.

This letter is not about garnering pity. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for womankind. Instead, I want to remind my fellow women, mothers, sisters, work colleagues, friends on all political sides, neighbours, and daughters that the battle is not over. Remember, one day will never give us equality. While we celebrate the wins of women everywhere, we must never become complacent because we are still not there.

Please, friends, consider your fellow woman. You know the one who wears too much make-up because she’s been beaten and she’s hiding a bruise. Or the girlfriend who agrees to go back to the violent boyfriend who promises he will be better. Or to our daughters who we have to remind to watch their drink so it does not get spiked, or to never walk home alone, and to put your keys in your hand, or carry mace to be safe.

If we are going to be equal, then we have to stand together, no matter what. And together say ENOUGH is ENOUGH. And when our laws change and we are treated as equals, in a country where there are more women than men – then I think we, as Bahamian women, can truly celebrate along with our sisters (and brothers) around the world.

Sarah Kirkby