Reynolds and Jackson sparkle in the entertaining but unrealistic and violent 'The Hitman's Bodyguard'

Fri, Aug 25th 2017, 10:35 AM

The Hitman's Bodyguard (Rated C)
Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Salma Hayek, Gary Oldman
Genre: Action Adventure Comedy
Dwight's Rating: Not bad

Unbelievably unrealistic! Unspeakably violent! And astoundingly unquotable!
All of this, yet the new action comedy "The Hitman's Bodyguard" is also awfully entertaining, mainly and especially when we're seeing Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson -- a superbly dynamic duo, who sparkle together as the ultimate bickering "frenemies".
When they are together, it's screen magic, and you'll wish to see more of them, as they make this film watchable despite some major flaws with its preposterous premise.
Reynolds plays the world's top protection agent, and he's called upon to guard the life of his mortal enemy, one of the world's most notorious hit men (Jackson). The relentless bodyguard and manipulative assassin have been on the opposite end of the bullet for years and are thrown together for a wildly outrageous 24 hours. During their journey from England to The Hague, Netherlands, they encounter high-speed car chases, outlandish boat escapades and a merciless Eastern European dictator (Gary Oldman) who is out for blood.
Reynolds cemented his reputation for snarky, sarcastic comedy last year as the star of the monster hit "Deadpool". Here, he plays a much more buttoned-down, anal-retentive version of that Wade Wilson character -- much like the smart-mouth individuals he often plays. And Samuel Jackson has made a career of sharp-tongued, caustic, big personality types. He's thrown them all into this picture.
These two were both either made for these roles or these roles were made for them! And it's an amazing combination.
At first, they are in separate settings. But the moment these archenemies see each together for the first time, the film kicks into high gear. The best part being the wacky conversations -- verbal sparring, relaying stories about their past, giving love advice (yes, that right!). It's fun times!
Also loads of fun: an extremely potty-mouthed Salma Hayek playing Jackson's very violent wife. It's disturbing, but mostly delightful, to see Hayek (who turns 51 next month!) spew out the most vile words in both English and Spanish -- that as-strong-as-ever Mexican accent adding to the uncomfortable hilarity.
That's what "The Hitman's Bodyguard" gets right -- the study of these three lead characters. There're some interesting foot and car chase scenes as well, and some beautiful images of parts of Europe.
But when Reynolds/Jackson or Hayek aren't on the screen, there are real problems. Even the usually dynamic Gary Oldman as the dictator (for some reason, poor Belarus is named as the country he's oppressing) is reduced to a cartoon villain.
The plot is simply too far-fetched. A whole lot of effort is being wasted to eliminate a star witness in an international war tribunal, yet that seems to mean very little to the international community. And in these attempts to terminate that witness, the level of destruction is ridiculous.
Yes, this is an action movie, but my goodness, beautiful, idyllic Amsterdam and The Hague are reduced to rubble, with countless explosions, mass casualties, and all out warfare in those narrow European streets! One of the bad guys even whips out a rocket-launcher! In the middle of town? Yet, this is still not enough to convince the International Court of Justice that somebody has something to hide? Huh?
But even more shocking -- throughout all of this madness, there's not one sign of law enforcement anywhere, besides a couple of Interpol agents. Nowhere along the miles and miles of destroyed city on the car chase route, and nowhere along the river during the car/boat chase! Nothing! Just innocent bystanders struggling to dodge bullets and out-of-control SUVs!
The film actually plays this for laughs during at least one point. But one wonders, what would the police officers be doing in The Netherlands that would keep them so occupied from getting to the bottom of the annihilation of two prominent cities? Perhaps partaking in some of the infamous freedoms for which the Dutch are now internationally known?
All of this may seem like nitpicking to some. But for me, it reduces a film with some very entertaining moments to simply a bizarre live-action animated flick. This, along with some fun-to-watch but highly implausible fighting scenes, asks us to suspend all sense of reality just a tad too much.
It's happening quite a lot with "action" films now. And it seems soon we will need to apply a "sci-fi" or "fantasy" moniker to movies like this, and others like "The Fast and The Furious" franchise.
Of course, there are those among us who are quick to dismiss a movie based on comic-book superheroes because they can't accept the notion of a superhuman or mutant in tights fighting evil forces. But some of those same folks will find it perfectly acceptable that two regular people will drive their individual cars off parallel bridges so they can collide in mid-air in the ultimate automotive duel. Hmmm! Which one is more out of touch with reality?
But if this is what the action film is coming to, so be it! At least with "The Hitman's Bodyguard", Reynolds' and Jackson's verbal duels are enough to cancel out all the loud, gory, violent nonsense.

o Dwight Strachan is the host/producer of " Morning Blend" on Guardian Radio. He is a television producer and writer, and an avid TV history and film buff. Email dwight@nasguard.com and follow him on twitter @morningblend969.

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