The Mummy (Rated C)
Cast: Tom Cruise, Sofia Boutella, Annabelle Wallis, Russell Crowe
Genre: Action/Fantasy
Dwight's Rating: Pretty Awful

Some of the latest research suggests napping has numerous beneficial properties.
A siesta can rejuvenate the mind, body and spirit, with some studies saying they can even boost productivity, help to reduce stress and improve mood.
So, for many people, taking naps would be a great way to spend a couple of hours.
And, if by chance you had even a brief inkling of traveling down to a movie cinema to watch the latest film to be entitled "The Mummy", you might SERIOUSLY want to instead consider taking a nap (or doing almost anything else).
Speaking of napping, "The Mummy" is very much like a dream -- a very, very, VERY bad one. Not because it's scary, but because it's the stuff of nightmares. As nightmares are often incoherent, with odd appearances by people who shouldn't be there, behaving exceptionally bizarrely and making strange utterances, so too does this film make not one bit of sense.
Tom Cruise stars as Nick Morton, a soldier of fortune who plunders ancient sites for timeless artifacts and sells them to the highest bidder. When Nick and his partner come under attack in the Middle East, the ensuing battle accidentally unearths Ahmanet, a betrayed Egyptian princess who was entombed under the desert for thousands of years. With her powers constantly evolving, Morton must now stop the resurrected monster as she embarks on a furious rampage through the streets of London.
Just when you thought Cruise's comeback was secure, and you're ready to declare that he had been freed of his box office "poison" status, this dud threatens to wipe out all the goodwill he earned from "Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation" (2015) and especially "Edge of Tomorrow" (2014).
Cruise appears to be trying here, displaying a pronounced enthusiasm and liveliness. But the film is total rubbish and gets worse every few minutes.
A big part of the problem is that Cruise is not aware whether he's in a comedy, a horror flick, or a dark, mystery adventure. And he's not aware because the writers and directors don't seem to have a clue themselves. It's either that, or worse, they think it's all of the above.
As a result, seemingly every five minutes someone pulls a film genre out of a hat, and the production takes on that persona. So from slapstick comedy worthy of a routine from "The Three Stooges", as Cruise's character tries to fend off some zombie-like creatures, suddenly everybody gets serious, as if they're trying to crack archeological mysteries a la "The Da Vinci code".
Then uh-oh, a character dies, yet for some reason, it's played for laughs. But wait! Here come more of those ghoulish, ghastly-looking undead beings. Somebody went through a lot of expensive effects for what's meant to be a joke.
Well, that's IF this was the intention at all. Clearly, half the cast was not informed. Annabelle Wallis, as a fearless archeologist, and Sofia Boutella, who plays the mummy, are all business, and seem at odds with the overall tone.
"The Mummy" also continues this weird trend of evil female characters previously dead or locked away, being released into the world to wreak havoc, as in "The Huntsman: Winter's War" and "Suicide Squad". There's an "X-men: Apocalypse" feel, even though the entombed being there was male.
Russell Crowe is in this movie as well! Clearly he lost a bet with someone, or just really wanted an opportunity to beat Tom Cruise up on screen. He plays Dr. Jekyll. Yes, that one! And thus, the violent Mr. Hyde makes an appearance too.
Crowe is also the narrator, and performs the task in an excruciatingly painful manner. Never has this Oscar winner seemed so sad.
We're told this is to be the beginning of a new "Dark Universe" franchise, featuring monsters from the library of Universal Studios. These are the folks who brought you "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", "The Phantom of the Opera", "Dracula", and "Frankenstein", many movies entitled "The Mummy" (or some variation thereof), and countless other monster flicks, from as far back as the 1920s.
As you can tell, this reboot of "The Mummy" leaves a lot to be desired, and is far inferior to the surprisingly entertaining hit of the same name starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz from 1999. Next up, it seems, will be a reboot of "Bride of Frankenstein", with plans for many other reboots, including "Invisible Man" and "Dracula".
But after this new "The Mummy", this massive misstep cannot be condoned, and should be avoided at all costs. If this franchise is to proceed along the lines of this production, this film must be allowed to flop, so nobody at Universal Pictures would be confused and foolish enough to think the audience wants more.
So rest up, moviegoers! Use your hours this summer productively!

o Dwight Strachan is the host/producer of " Morning Blend" on Guardian Radio. He is a television producer and writer, and an avid TV history and film buff. Email dwight@nasguard.com and follow him on twitter @morningblend969.

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