Spectre (Rated C)
Cast: Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Lea Seydoux
Genre: Action Adventure
Dwight's Rating: 2 Stars

You've finally got the recipe for a beloved family dish, and you've decided you're going to take the plunge, and try your best to do it the way mama used to. Or perhaps you're assembling furniture -- you ordered it online, or you're seeking to waive the store's assembly charges. But you can do this. It can't be that hard, right?

That first time, you pay the utmost attention -- measuring everything once, maybe even twice, and you keep that recipe or instruction manual or directions close at hand. After some sweat, and sometimes even tears, you're done! And it's not bad. And of course, the more you do it, the more the practice makes perfect, as they say.

Then, if you desire it enough, or are required to do it enough, eventually you'll reach a point when you won't even remember where you've put the measuring tape or cups and spoons. You'll even be able to eyeball it and assemble or prepare it in your sleep. It becomes old hat! That's where we are with the new film, "Spectre" -- the 24th installment in the long-running James Bond 007 film series. A generic, almost stereotype of the Bond films, "Spectre" is overly long, overly loud, and you may find yourself praying for it to all be over.

Despite a few very thrilling moments, it's absolutely shocking in its formulaic nature, never once straying far from typical 007 fashion. As usual, we begin with a long but exciting opening. Then go to the long musical opening with a trendy pop star (Sam Smith). Next it's the long drawn-out cat-and-mouse game with a cartoonish villain intent on destroying or taking over the world or upsetting the world order.

Mix in James Bond having random sex with random women all over the world. And go to car chases with (now thankfully again) mostly British brand-name vehicles (including a stunning Aston Martin). And of course, don't forget the usually unconvincing "love" interest that may be placed in grave jeopardy, just before James finds a way to save the day.
Factory and fast-food workers, we feel your pain!

"Spectre" adheres more closely to these generic (and now apparently tiresome) Bond characteristics than any previous edition starring Daniel Craig. Here, a cryptic message from the past leads James to Mexico City and Rome where he meets the beautiful widow of an infamous criminal. After infiltrating a secret meeting, 007 uncovers the existence of the sinister organization SPECTRE -- the Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion.

Needing the help of the daughter of an old nemesis, he embarks on a mission to find her. As Bond ventures toward the heart of SPECTRE, he discovers a chilling connection between himself and the enemy, the (recurring in the Bond-series) super-villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Christoph Waltz).

Okay, so let's get the few strong points out of the way. Craig is very slick in his trademark robotic-superhero interpretation of 007, with his fancy and expensive suits never out of place. The film, too, is beautiful with expensive looking production values, including well-choreographed action sequences. It's directed by Oscar-winner Sam Mendes ("American Beauty"), who also directed the most recent Bond film, "Skyfall".

The very best part of "Spectre" is the absolutely amazing opening -- probably the very best first few minutes of any movie all year, if not this decade. This heart-pounding, edge-of-your-seat madness, with Bond engaged in a battle-to-the-death in a helicopter above Mexico City during the "Day of the Dead" parade, is exceptionally exciting, and was apparently a stupendously expensive exercise to film. Thus, the first few minutes of this movie should not be missed, so don't be late. And if you are late and you miss that, you might as well just leave, because the rest of the movie certainly is far less thrilling.

There are long gaps between the action, and often the rest of the action is questionable. There's a mediocre car chase (nothing like that classic in my favorite Bond-film "Goldfinger"). And there's a ridiculous long-winded fight with a giant brute (nothing like that classic Bond versus Oddjob battle in "Goldfinger", again).

With the "Spectre" fight, James and that monster both seem impervious to pain, and not able to bleed. Our spy is thrown around and pounded for what seems like hours. But worse yet, after finally one-upping the guy, James and his new love interest -- who was also knocked about quite a bit by the ogre -- immediately decide it's a good time for some whoopee! Yeah, we know this is fantasy, supposedly every man's dreams, but at some point it becomes ridiculous.

Additionally, Bond really needs to see a psychologist, unless "seduction" is an official and fully sanctioned information-extraction method of British spy and counter intelligence units. He actually sleeps with a woman, whom he just made a widow, moments after her husband's funeral! Tiresome is also a great way to describe our villain.

Two-time Oscar winner Christoph Waltz ("Inglourious Basterds" and "Django Unchained") is wasted in a forgettable performance that's not fully baked. Even the breathtaking opening scene is not without its issues. Has a Bond scene ever been this violent, and has Bond ever before put so many innocent lives in danger?

And this may be extreme nit-picking here, but even the greatest Sam Smith fan can admit that the title song, "Writing's on the Wall", is bland and uninspired. It is undeniably weak compared to some of the Bond classics like "Goldfinger", "A View to A Kill", "Live and Let Die" or even "Nobody Does it Better". It also can't hold a candle to the most recent song, "Skyfall", by fellow Brit, Adele, who won an Oscar, Grammy and Golden Globe for that hit from the 2012 film of the same name.

So, "Spectre" is indeed the weakest of all the Craig-era Bond films.

For newbies and on its own, without any comparisons to the others in the entire 007 series, it might be more impressive. But for fans, and when compared to so many other Bond films, it will fall in the "less-than-stellar" category. There are rumors that this may be the end of the road for Craig as the British spy. To borrow the title from the "Spectre" theme song, I think the "Writing's on The Wall", and this might be a good time for everyone to try their hand at a new recipe and find a new direction.

o Dwight Strachan is the host/producer of " Morning Blend" on Guardian Radio. He is a television producer and writer, and an avid TV history and film buff. Email dwight@nasguard.com and follow him on twitter@morningblend969.

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