The Gallows (Rated C)
Cast: Ryan Shoos, Cassidy Erin Gifford, Reese Mishler
Genre: Horror/ Thriller
Dwight’s Rating: 1 star

If only the new film “The Gallows” were as exciting, shocking and frightening as the frenzy it created as part of its pre-release promotion.

No doubt you remember that furor — the crazed reaction to the #CharlieCharlieChallenge. Yes, the most recent reincarnation of this very old game was just all a ploy to drum up interest in this teen horror flick.

This past spring, The Bahamas got swept up in Charlie Madness, as school children, apparently all over the nation, bought into ideas associated with the movie’s planted video clip (and the many subsequent YouTube videos) featuring the paper-and-pencil game. The children were led to ask questions of a “supernatural entity” called Charlie. Along the way, somehow, he became known as a “Mexican Demon”. What was supposed to be fun-and-games ended up creating mass hysteria as suddenly Bahamian children were conjuring up spirits in séances in their classrooms and bedrooms.

It all came to a head when most astonishingly one high school principal called for local pastors to participate in an exorcism to cast out demons that had presumably invaded the campus. That led to government officials issuing statements warning of the dangers of the games. The dumbfoundingly idiotic responses to this situation dominated discussion on Bahamian talk shows and made headlines in newspapers and television news.

On its own, The Bahamas’ reaction to CharlieCharlie would make for a spectacular movie (a very black comedy, no doubt!). It would certainly be better than the nonsense we’ve ended up with in “The Gallows” — the very worst movie of the year to date!

It may interest you to know the Charlie character in this movie is not Mexican, nor as had been perpetuated in the version of the game that became most popular here in The Bahamas — is he gay (or at least his sexual orientation is never discussed). Hollywood is apparently more concerned about political correctness than many Bahamians (and Donald Trump). It says a lot about a film when very early on you are rooting for all — ALL! — the characters to die horrible deaths — and for something painful (perhaps just the flu) to happen to the director and screenwriter.

It’s hard to bond with any of these generic, half-dimensional, horror film character tropes. I felt no sympathy for even one of them. The most despicable and disturbing character, Ryan (Ryan Shoos), is the stereotypical high school jock, who terrorizes the geeks and nerds. Ryan has decided to videotape the behind the scenes developments as his high school prepares to stage a production of a play called “The Gallows”. It’s the first time the school is putting on this very play since 1993, when a freak accident involving a noose killed one of the cast members, student Charlie Grimille.

Ryan ridicules all of the cast and crew of the play, including his buddy Reese, who has abandoned the football team to play the role previously played by Charlie. Ryan convinces his girlfriend Cassidy and Reese to try to sabotage the play on the eve of opening night. But they, along with Reese’s co-star Pfeifer, become trapped in the school auditorium, and face the wrath of what appears to be Charlie’s vengeful spirit.

You’ll notice that Ryan is played by a Ryan. The principal cast — mostly unknown actors — all play characters with their same names — thus, Reese is played by Reese Mishler, Pfeifer by Pfeifer Brown, and Cassidy by Cassidy Erin Gifford (Kathy Lee and Frank’s daughter). That little bit of cutesiness is the least offensive aspect of this entire production.

Directors/screenwriting partners Travis Cluff and Chris Lofing are making a strong case for the return of the hangman’s noose, demonstrating a complete lack of originality by resurrecting the now-tired “The Blair Witch Project” approach to filmmaking. Like that 1999 horror film, every scene is shot from the perspective of one of the characters holding a camcorder. The one innovation in “The Gallows” is that the characters also use 21st century smart phone technology (you’ve got to be kidding me!) replete with dying battery alerts. So, there’s intentionally shaky and grainy footage and very bad sounding audio.

Is the world so accustomed to watching nonsense on YouTube that we would subject ourselves — and pay good money — to watch a movie that mimics such foolishness? And what are we to make of the fact that Hollywood thinks we are indeed so dimwitted? Just a few weeks ago, I actually praised another teen thriller, “Unfriended”, shot entirely as teenagers communicating in real time through social media like Skype or Facebook messenger. It wasn’t particularly scary, but the characters were interesting, and there were important messages about cyber-bullying.

With “The Gallows”, there is not one redeeming quality. It’s just a complete and utter waste of time. There are far too many nonsensical and incongruent story elements, and there is absolutely nothing scary or thrilling about it. Instead we are treated to amateurish shock tactics, most reminiscent of a haunted house with high school or college students. In fact, many of those are probably much scarier.

Yes, the only things to be scared about are that Hollywood’s roll out of such ridiculous teen “horror” flicks shows no signs of abating any time soon, and even sadder, that children and adults in this country and the world over will continue to be manipulated into believing almost anything even a lousy movie wants to promote.

• Dwight Strachan is the host/producer of “ Morning Blend” on Guardian Radio. He is a television producer and writer, and an avid TV history and film buff. Email dwight@nasguard.com and follow him on twitter @morningblend969.