Avengers: Age of Ultron (Rated B)
Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, James Spader
Genre: Superhero Action
Dwight's rating: 2.5 Stars
Dear Marvel, DC, and other purveyors of comic book-based superhero action films: I write to you on behalf of weary filmgoers all over the globe, asking you to cease and desist from making additional movies of this kind, unless and until you can definitively prove that you have not run out of new ideas for this genre, and have not already exhausted all possible storylines and scenarios.
Clearly, there has been a steady increase in these films since the early 1990s. And besides the great advancements in visual effects, unfortunately you are - with just a few exceptions - cranking out bomb after bomb or dud after dud.
Your most recent release, "Avengers: Age of Ultron", is a prime example that all is far from well. As you know, this is a sequel to your wildly successful 2012 film, "The Avengers", which broke or tied many box-office records, with its massive all-star ensemble cast portraying some very famous superheroes, alongside some that we hardly knew. This time around, the drama comes when Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) jumpstarts a dormant peacekeeping program.
The rest of the Avengers - Thor, the Incredible Hulk, Captain America, Black Widow et al - are forced to reassemble. And with the fate of Earth resting in their hands, the team is put to the ultimate test as they battle Ultron, a technological terror hell-bent on human extinction. Along the way, they encounter two mysterious and powerful newcomers, Pietro and Wanda Maximoff. Forgive me for asking, but have we not done this before?
This film continues a disturbing trend of the "overstuffing" we've seen in recent years with these types of movies. It's filled to the brim with characters, storylines, special effects and noise. We can only assume that you have come to the realization - as have many of us - that some of your superheroes are so lackluster and one-dimensional on their own, that they must be paired with other (just as boring) characters.
Even the once-interesting Batman is now being forced to team up with (or is it battle with?) that dullard Superman, for what I fear will reap something quite horrendous.
The plethora of characters usually results in far too many silly storylines. I see that you often hire big name, A-list stars, so of course, you have to give them something to do onscreen to justify their high salaries. But that one storyline - out of seemingly 8 or 9 - is more often than not, weak, inane and insignificant.
To be fair, this problem is not unique to the comics; other (might-as-well-be-a-comic-book) movie series are doing the same thing (here's looking at you "Furious 7"), and are piling on the new (and returned-from-the-dead) characters and storylines with each additional sequel.
And then the lack of cohesive storytelling becomes amplified when you switch between all the city buildings being blown up and these various storylines (which usually comprise dull conversations about familial or romantic relations). The shifts in tone can be painfully jarring, further highlighting just how uninteresting everyone is.
For example, apparently Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) and Black Window (Scarlett Johansson) now have a thing. These two freaks are trying to navigate their complicated circumstances, especially as Hulk is a psychotic, uncontrollable green monster. However, last time around, things were actually a whole lot more interesting with the banter between Hulk's alter ego Bruce Banner and Tony Stark. But I figure something like that distracts from all that action. Is that why intelligent repartee was exorcised in this edition?
And speaking of Tony Stark, why is he becoming so unbearably annoying? Where is the Stark from the beloved first "Iron Man" movie? As a side note, after the two sequels in that franchise, can I get you to commit to never forcing us to revisit that ever again?
Now, we know it's not all gloom and doom for comic book superhero movies, especially for you folks at Marvel. The X-Men series has, for the most part, maintained some levels of consistency, stumbling only when you've decided to focus individually on some of the mutants (it seems some superheroes really need the company).
And we've had a few very special Batman and Spiderman editions. But as is typical, the follow-ups or remakes have either been overly gloomy or just plain silly, painful and unwatchable.
One glimmer of hope, though, was last year's biggest, most refreshing surprise, "Guardians of the Galaxy" - one of the very best movies of 2014. But we know that like what happened after the aforementioned "Iron Man", you're just going to mess it up with dumb sequels. No offense!
Back to "Age of Ultron"; I must say, your villain du jour was a bit of a delight, primarily because of the always-excellent James Spader - the only real reason to watch NBC's uneven "The Blacklist". As Ultron, you have Spader essentially playing his TV persona, Raymond "Red" Reddington, with the same rapier wit and cynicism. I guess you're a fan of that show too?
His artificial intelligence-infused android (I'm also getting a little tired of this A.I. trend!) is actually better defined than most of these one-note superheroes. Nevertheless, it did seem - as it did in the first Avengers movie - that all the madness could have all been stopped within the first 30 minutes, especially with that witchy Wanda character on the Avengers' side.
On that note, I wish you guys would appreciate just how short life is, and how we need to make every hour count. If you did, you wouldn't waste our time with repetitive battle scenes, and useless fights between team members, seeking only to answer pre-teen fanboy "who would win in a fight between...?"- type questions.
To be honest, I actually did like "Age of Ultron" slightly (just slightly) more than the previous Avengers movie. That flashy film had far too much noise and destruction, and very little substance. You guys seem to have tried to "add" more here, yet but I suspect the winning formula would call for you to "subtract".
Please keep that in mind as it appears there is no end to your faith in the appetite of audiences for these movies. I hear you already have TWO!! Avenger sequels planned for before the end of the decade. Yikes! But congratulations, by the way, on the mind-blowing performance of "Age of Ultron" at the box office over the weekend!
So if that means you'll never exactly be "retiring" this genre, can we at least get you to consider "resting" these movies, for just about a decade or two? I know you don't really like to try new things, so instead how about reviving a genre you seem to have abandoned - maybe westerns? Film noir? Anything... just not musicals, please!
Thank you for your time.
o Dwight Strachan is the host/producer of "Morning Blend" on Guardian Radio. He is a television producer and writer, and an avid TV history and film buff. Email dwight@nasguard.com and follow him on twitter @morningblend969.
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