"Your children are not your

children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you."
- Kahlil Gibran
(Author's note: This time of the year marks the moment for many parents and children when those we have lovingly and protectively raised leave the nurturing nest for the first time, bound for a school far from home and a new life, quite separate and apart from the one both parent and child have shared since that child's birth. Therefore this week, we are revisiting a column that first appeared in 2012, one that still resonates with those who are taking first flight and those who are left with one less in the nest.)
Just about this time every year, parents and students alike feverishly run around, making last minute arrangements for the re-opening of school with uniforms, new shoes, books, lunch boxes and school bags usually very high on the list of back-to-school purchases.
However, for some students, going back to school this fall is not the same annual routine that has been repeated over the years. For them, their purchases will include airline tickets, rental cars and hotel accommodations, because, for the first time, they will be leaving the nest of their home and country and traveling to school abroad. Therefore this week, we would like to Consider This... what are some of the sentiments facing parents and students alike, who, for the first time, are faced with leaving the nest?
It is amazing how fast the years fly by. On reflection, parents can vividly recall the birth of their children, and their early years of participation in church, school and extra-curricular activities. With the slowly advancing years come the "trials and tribulations" of childhood which children often believe are life-transforming, if not "world-ending", but which parents, through the wisdom of their years, recognize as inconsequential in the greater scheme of things, almost always ultimately fading into memory's abyss of oblivion. But the triumphs and failings that often confront youthful exuberance all factor into the development of the child's personality that will contribute to character building and will serve as a moral compass later in life.
Early childhood is also a time when children learn the importance of "the other", that is the existence and importance of persons beyond themselves, where friendships, some lifelong, are formed and developed. Some of my closest and deepest friendships to this day include persons whom I have known since our days in Kindergarten at St. Joseph's Catholic School on Boyd Road.
Through the years, as youthful life meanders through the streams of time, a child's values are refined and crystallized into a body of beliefs and volumes of values that will guide them through pleasant and fulfilling experiences as well as distasteful and turbulent challenges, ultimately combining to enrich and enhance their view of the world into which they are about to embark as young adults.
Suddenly, and almost without warning, the time arrives where the all-important question of the career path the student will pursue is presented. Accordingly, the last year in high school is filled with plans for the Scholastic Aptitude Tests (SATs) and the dreaded Bahamas General Certificate of Secondary Examinations (BGCSE), while simultaneously completing the essential and at times intimidating college applications.
The final semester of a high school student's career is saturated with sentiments about graduating and more importantly about which school abroad they will be invited to attend, if they decide not to attend the College of The Bahamas for further studies. Those students who decide to go abroad will spend much of that summer saying goodbye to one phase of their lives and preparing to leave The Bahamas, often accompanied by family members who will make the pilgrimage, with understandable ambivalence, to the mutually agreed upon - and sometimes long dreamed of - institution of higher learning.
The departure date finally arrives and with over-packed luggage and some family members in tow, the newly-minted freshman college student departs The Bahamas on a life-transforming sojourn which will forever be established in their being as perhaps not their first, but certainly their longest time away from that nurturing nest they have enjoyed for their whole lives.
Over the next few days, the student is deluged by conflicting sentiments of joyful anticipation, reserved anxiety and cautious optimism about their unfolding future. It is understandable that the student is nervous but excited, flooded with bitter-sweet sentiments of the joy of embarking on a new experience, while simultaneously sad about leaving the home of family and friends. Above all, the freshman is grateful for the prospective college experience, proud of the achievements of earlier years that made it all possible and glad that they heeded their parents' admonitions that hard work pays off and that good things happen to good people who give their best to every effort, no matter how apparently insignificant or inconsequential it might seem at the time.
The student is also grateful for the teachers who have assisted in shaping that person's world-view, both positively and otherwise, and for the opportunity to travel abroad extensively at a tender age. Some of these nostalgic sentiments are temporarily put aside, replaced by the hours spent shopping for college paraphernalia, ever-mindful that the dormitory room will be shared with another person, so the living space will be limited.
The parents share similar sentiments. There are mixed emotions of the need to let your child go into the world, fully cognizant that you have done all that you can to prepare your child for this day, while simultaneously recognizing that the world, albeit cruel at times, offers many wonderful opportunities for those who are prepared to embrace them.
Finally, the day arrives for the parent to deliver the freshman offspring to the school and depart. Although anxious, the parents are reassured in the knowledge that their child, who has been a constant presence in the home, with intermittent periods of respite for camp and related activities, and who will not be home until Christmas, has been given a great start in life these past 17 years. And, while parents fully experience momentary lapses of uncertainty, it is also their deep and abiding faith that provides the comfort and assurance that their child will be protected and preserved during these periods of absence and will make the most of the opportunity that has been afforded at this moment in time.
And therefore, after all the final farewells, the hugs and kisses and the torrents of tears exchanged in anticipation of the pain of separation, in recognition of the infinitely positive possibilities that lie ahead, parents are comforted by the words of Kahlil Gibran's poem "On Children", where he reminded us that:
"You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable."
In the final analysis, when all is said and done, the greatest responsibility for any parent is to properly prepare their children to leave the nest and fly, like Gibran's arrow, swift and sure to a shining faraway target called the future.
We will be back next week with the next instalment of our exhilarating exploration of another of the wonderful islands of our archipelago.
o Philip C. Galanis is the managing partner of HLB Galanis and Co., Chartered Accountants, Forensic & Litigation Support Services. He served 15 years in parliament. Please send your comments to pgalanis@gmail.com.

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