C-section guilt

Tue, Apr 22nd 2014, 10:54 AM

Regardless of how we bring our children into the world, just having a child, healthy and happy is the most important thing. I must admit, having had two children both via Caesarean section (C-section), I had a lot of guilt over it. It wasn't because I felt that I was copping out of the pain, but rather that I may somehow be less of a woman, or worse, less of a mom, because technically I didn't go through the pushing aspect of birth. I felt a little ashamed. I didn't want to let the cat out of the bag, as somehow disclosing that information among a group of peers makes me a fraud.
Is it possible that there are other women that feel this type of guilt? Or, more importantly, that other women actually rate the "strength" of a woman or mother, as to how many hours of labor, pain and agony they endured to bring their precious baby into the world. Not to mention, whether delivery occurred with drugs, or without. Is it even possible, that some women hold on tight to the way in which they gave birth, as if, a trophy or medal was in order, given the struggle they succumbed to? A trophy that other woman didn't merit if they had pain medication, or a C-section?
You can read many articles these days about the increasing rates of C-section. Some even make claims that there is a lack of trust in the natural process of labor, and that labor in itself has become so clinical as practitioners strive to control the environment to ensure the best possible outcome for both mother and baby.
I can understand healthcare professionals wanting to ensure that everything is done to have a successful birth, in whichever manner that it occurs. Can you blame them for that thinking? Some people boldly suggest that it may be about the payout rather than in the best interest of the patients.
It's hard to imagine the shoe on the other foot. There may be some woman who wished she had a C-section and not an episiotomy and vice versa. Delivery, labor and birth are all challenging and painful. No one method should be considered easier, but rather considered to be different. They both come with a set of risks for the mother and baby, and recovery can take some time in both cases. But, with every challenge in life there comes great rewards. Bringing a baby into this world is an incredibly beautiful experience and quite miraculous in itself.
If you have struggled with the thought of disappointment in having a C-section rather than a natural birth, cut yourself some slack. Labor is just the beginning of a very long journey called, parenting. No one should make you feel any less, for the way in which your child was born. The most important thing is a safe outcome. Trust yourself, and your doctor and you will have the best possible outcome.
Love & hugs!
o Bianca Carter is a certified lactation counselor (CLC), and founder of Bun in the Oven. For more information, give us a call at 601-6977 or visit us at the Harbour Bay Shopping Plaza, next to Starbucks. Follow us on Facebook at babybunintheoven, email us at info@babybunintheoven.com, visit us at www.babybunintheoven.com.

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