Incivility and social decay

Thu, Jul 7th 2016, 12:21 AM

Our social fabric is torn asunder. Many basic norms and mores have atrophied. Many of us act in public spaces as self-absorbed individuals, with little to no consideration for others who share the same space. The loss of civility in many areas of national life is symptomatic of broader social decay.
A friend recounts driving into a shopping plaza where the entrance was clearly marked with the "in" sign and the exit marked "out". As he was entering the plaza, another man was trying to drive out through the entrance. Even though the latter man was in the wrong he became belligerent with the man who was acting in the appropriate manner.
This sort of story is writ-large throughout the country. Many of us become belligerent when it is pointed out how our poor manners and uncivil behavior inconvenience others. We feel we have a right to act improperly and to do exactly as we please regardless of whether we are inconveniencing others.
This sort of thinking and acting is growing, manifesting itself on our roads, at work and in many public spaces.
Once upon a time, not that long ago, we felt comfortable suggesting to someone that he or she may be inconveniencing others. But today we are more reluctant because we know that we risk a verbal or physical confrontation.
On the check-out line at a grocery store in Cable Beach, a friend was asked by another customer if the latter could jump ahead of the line because this individual was in a rush. The friend said no because he was also in a rush.
The man who wanted to jump ahead became rude, loudly complaining how selfish and inconsiderate are some people, blithely unaware that he was exemplifying the very behavior of which he was complaining.
The loss of self-awareness about boorish and poor behavior in public is a symptom of social decay. Many have not been socialized to understand how to be civil and considerate in public spaces such as in movie theaters, beaches, restaurants and offices.
Inconsideration and incivility in small things tend to grow into bigger things for individuals. What else can I get away with? And the mentality becomes: If you offend me I have the right to use violent words or actions to slap you down.
When more and more individuals feel this way it becomes a new negative norm. Young people who watch this type of behavior by family members and adults quickly learn that such antisocial behavior may be justifiable.
The result is that many young people believe it right and necessary to take weapons to school and to plot retaliation against others who they believe have disrespected them or a family member. We have seen the violent and deadly conclusion of such a mindset.
This writer witnessed a police officer walking a primary school boy, presumably his son, from the school to his car. The officer was loudly cussing out a motorist for driving incorrectly.
But here's the catch. The motorist was driving properly. It was the policeman who was jaywalking in the school zone, despite there being a pedestrian crossing walk a mere few feet away.
The officer, sworn to uphold the law, was teaching his son it is okay to break the rules. And if you break the rules and inconvenience others in the process, it's okay to cuss them out. Such is the magnitude of social decay when we are unable or unwilling to appreciate and apologize for inconsiderate or improper public behavior.
Many see it as a weakness or loss of respect when they are urged apologize for certain public behavior. This brute mentality of not admitting fault or error makes our life in common harsher and less humane. It desensitizes us. It makes us more prone to become even harsher.
Small things matter and represent broader mindsets. Notice how in grocery stores in the U.S. how rare it is for someone to leave their cart or trolley at the check-out counter once their groceries have been rung up? Notice how considerably more often this happens in a grocery store at home.
The mentality of the latter behavior is: Somebody else should move it. Of course, if someone had just done this to the individual leaving their trolley inconveniencing the person behind them, the former would huff and puff as to the rudeness of others.
Many of us drive fast through pedestrian crossing walks. Many park in zones clearly marked "no parking". Others cavalierly park in handicapped spots.
These signs are meant for others and certainly not for the self-absorbed, inconsiderate, entitled ones who feel little to no need to observe basic courtesies and the law. But these are usually the very ones who become annoyed or enraged when they are similarly inconvenience.
Observing courtesies, being considerate and observing laws and rules are about personal ethical behavior. But they are also the duty and responsibility of good citizens. Such proper behavior increases social trust and makes for a more humane and civil society.
It may be a somewhat extraordinary example but only the crudest person would urinate or defecate in an open public space. Yet many of us are prepared to loudly use the crudest language in public, to blare our car radios to the annoyance of others or to roar motorcycles on public highways as if they were one big racecourse.
Civility is precisely about respecting and helping to protect the rights and needs of others with whom we share public spaces and a common good. The increase in coarse and inconsiderate public behavior reflects a society with some of its civilizing foundations rotting.

o frontporchguardian@gmail.com, www.bahamapundit.com.

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