Once upon a time in a far away land there lived a woman who was very, very naughty. So naughty in fact that Santa Clause never visited her house. Every year as he packed his sack full of goodies for all the good women in the world his mind would wonder and sadly remember the tiny little apartment the reindeer never stopped at. Year after year they flew over as if instinctually. That home never had a gift to receive, not one single year.

Now, it wasn't that she was mean to little girls or boys, neither did she tell little white lies, or took things that did not belong to her. No, no: none of those things. As a matter of fact, she tried very hard every year to have Santa visit her. But, she always just missed it.

Santa sighed in disappointment. Would he ever be able to tumble down her chimney? When could he leave something special, just for her. She worked so hard all year, but never could seem to get it right.

He considered breaking the rules, "just this one time"; he would reason with himself. He thought about the look on her face as she came down the stairs and saw even a tiny turquoise box. Tied with a satin blue ribbon and just sparkling under the tree. "How excited she would be!", he smiled. "She would finally have a gift to open. She would finally have something to show."

But he knew there was no bending the rules. He simply could not.

"Perhaps next year," as he'd said for so many years now. "Perhaps one day."

One day indeed. For that sad lady that day could start today, and that year could be this year or the next, when 52 weeks of hard work would reap a reward that she would look at and be proud of. If you evaluate your year and find there is no money at the end, decide that this year will be the last time Rudolph hops on over your home, and delivers presents to your neighbor instead.

Are you financially self-aware?
When we consider how to change our results, it will begin with us. It's always something we are doing or something we are not. We have the power. This however, requires two things: being honest and being self aware.

Are we honest enough to stop blaming the economy, the government, even our clients, and look at how we contribute to our condition? More specifically, are we honest enough to look at how we make decisions in the face of overwhelming emotion? I ask this knowing that financial obligations can show up at times when we are the most stretched.

The budget gets completely shot, and frustration, anger, disappointment come flooding in. It can't be avoided, and it is during these times when our financial commitment to save a percentage of our income or pay off a bill and get out of debt is compromised. How do you manage these legitimate but unexpected expenses and stay on track with your financial goal?

What's your pattern?
It is important to be able to identify what we are feeling and how those feelings affect our decisions. For example, what do we do when our friends and colleagues are visibly moving ahead in life and it feels as if we are not? What decision do you find yourself making?

Do you find yourself wanting to buy something to feel better, to show you're experiencing some success too, when you know its not a necessity, and there is no space in the budget for it? What do you do when you are afraid?

Do you follow through and make the choice that will bring change and new revenue in your business, or do you find yourself shrinking back?

What about when you feel guilty? Are you making purchases to make up for something you think you should have done? What's your pattern? This is financial self awareness, its identifying how we make decisions under emotional pressure.

What's the point?
The point is, these negative emotions are there not to hurt you, so you can relax. Don't be afraid to look at them. They are actually there to guide you to what needs to be addressed in order to change your financial patterns and consequently your financial results.
So here is what you can do to become self aware and identify your money patterns:

1. Start a money journal and keep it with you all the time.

2. Tell yourself you will notice every time your emotions are triggered around money.

3. Write down how you feel, being as specific as possible. (ie: I feel indecisive about what to do next, or I feel helplessright now or I feel stuck and unable to move forward).

4. Writedown what you are compelled to do, as you experience the emotion. (ie: I feel like not paying any of these stupid bills. Let them wait. I'll get something for me instead!)

5. Remember, you are only journaling to be aware of what's happening internally. You do not have to do what you feel. As you continue this practice, you will soon begin to recognize your money patterns. Awareness is often enough to stop the behavior. When you can recognize and anticipate your pattern you become equipped to make different decisions.

Remember Gratitude
Instead of being ashamed or self-judging of what you discover, remember to be grateful for your emotions and this process. Use what you uncover as motivation to break these patterns by making a different choice. By making consistent financially sound decisions that display both emotional and financial fortitude. Then you can know that next year, there is a sparkling turquoise box, wrapped in blue satin ribbon, just waiting for you under the Christmas tree.

o Danette Alexandra Malcolm, MSc., is the creator of www.KickTheCubicleHabit.com where she helps Women Entrepreneurs and Solopreneurs to launch and grow their coaching, consulting and service based businesses before leaving their corporate jobs.

You can connect with her on Facebook at:
www.facebook.com/danettealexandra.malcolm.1 or send her an email at: dalexandramalcolm@gmail.com.

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