What a year of peaks and valleys for movie releases! -- from the usual tripe at the beginning of the year, to a better than average crop of summer blockbusters, to the exceptionally deep and dark valley in which we find ourselves this fall. Things are so bad right now that I refused to write a review or even watch last week's ridiculous-looking "The Last Witch Hunter" and "Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension". And this week was no better, with only "Burnt" and "Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse" opening locally.
This comes following a long list of flops and crap-tastic snoozers like "Mortdecai" (still the worst of the year so far), and "The Wedding Ringer", "Jupiter Ascending", "Chappie", and "Fifty Shades of Grey" being among some of the worst standouts and duds.
However, there have been some amazing movies this year. "Sicario" and "Mad Max: Fury Road" have been two of the best dramas of the year so far, with "Trainwreck" and "Spy" the best comedies. And we've seen a rejuvenated "Mission: Impossible" franchise and star in Tom Cruise, a possibly resuscitated career for Johnny Depp in "Black Mass". Plus the biggest, most commercially successful movie of the year, up to this point, "Jurassic World", was also quite entertaining. But the fall season has been bleak.
"The Martian" has been number one at the U.S. box office for most of October. Releases like "Pan" and "Jem and the Holograms" were big box office flops.
The much-buzzed-about "Steve Jobs" biopic never made it here locally, and neither did Joseph Gordon-Levitt's tight-rope walking biopic "The Walk", or Sandra Bullock's "Our Brand is Crisis". But even more surprising was the no-show for Steven Spielberg's "Bridge of Spies" starring Tom Hanks.
Worse, seasoned moviegoers in The Bahamas know how it goes here. In the beginning of the year, and through the summer, we get all the nonsense -- the very same day it premieres in the U.S. But as the year draws to a close, the quality productions -- the supposed Oscar contenders -- are nowhere to be found. So sadly, it may go even further downhill from here!
Well, this may seem like torture, but here's a look at the year's remaining releases, and what's likely to make a stop on our shores.
The sure bets
If there's a new James Bond movie, you can be sure it will be showing in Bahamian theaters. And of course, "Spectre" opens today, starring current Bond Daniel Craig in possibly his final appearance as 007. Audiences, particularly here in The Bahamas, seem to have taken to this moody, broody, anti-hero Bond. More Jason Bourne than the witty and whimsical Sean Connery/Pierce Brosnan Bonds. Look for my review next week.
Expect multiple screenings for one of fall's most anticipated films, the final installment in "The Hunger Games" franchise, "Mockingjay Part 2" (November 20). After starting out in a most spectacular manner, last year's third edition was atrocious -- the byproduct of a horrible and increasingly common practice of splitting the final film in a series into two parts. It was so bad that I've almost lost all interest in seeing the finale. But I figure, we've come this far... I might as well see how it all ends.
The following week is Thanksgiving. And opening on November 25 is "Creed", yet another sequel in the never-ending "Rocky" franchise. Thankfully, this time Sylvester Stallone's Rocky is not boxing in the ring (Stallone is 69!). Instead he's playing the trainer, coaching his great rival Apollo Creed's son Adonis (Michael B. Jordan).
Expect the animated "The Good Dinosaur" from Disney-Pixar to open that same day. It's the first time Pixar has ever released two films in the same year. How will it compare to the well-regarded "Inside Out" of this summer?
With December comes the holiday horror flick "Krampus" (December 4) about an evil Christmas monster.
Chris Hemsworth's "In the Heart of the Sea" is likely to make it here on December 11, as there are no other major releases. And on December 18, the kid friendly "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip" is a safe bet. But that day will also see the release of the most highly anticipated movie of this year, if not the decade.
"Star Wars: The Force Awakens" has whipped up a frenzy ever since Disney acquired Lucasfilm and announced it was doing another installment -- the seventh installment in the nearly 40-year-old Star Wars franchise. "The Force Awakens" is quite likely to break global box office records, featuring a mix of new stars and characters and some of the stars from the original 1977 "Star Wars". It'll be the first in a whole new trilogy, produced by J.J. Abrams, responsible for the successful reboot of "Star Trek" in 2009 (and it's much less successful follow-up "Star Trek Into Darkness" in 2013) and TV's "Lost".
And finally, on Christmas Day there's "Concussion" starring Will Smith and produced by Ridley Scott. Smith plays a real life doctor fighting the National Football League (NFL) as he seeks to publicize his findings about the traumatic brain injuries suffered by professional football players.
More than likely
A couple of comedies will more than likely be opening here the same time they open in the U.S.
On December 18, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler play "Sisters". Yes, it's opening the same day as "The Force Awakens", and will get lost in the universe. And while Fey and Poehler are spectacular together as Golden Globe Awards hosts, their 2008 movie "Baby Mama" missed more than it hit.
Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg will team up for "Daddy's Home" on Christmas Day, playing the (often quite serious) daddy-versus- step-daddy rivalry for laughs. And there are a few Christmas-themed comedies "Love the Coopers" (November 13) featuring a huge all-star cast, and "The Night Before" (November 20) with Seth Rogan and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
On the drama front, more than likely the massive star power of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will mean their new film "By the Sea" will come here on November 13. In their first on-screen collaboration since the infamous "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" brought them together 10 years ago. This new romantic drama was written and directed by Jolie.
The long shots and the Oscar buzzers
I've already talked about "Bridge of Spies" and "Steve Jobs", released about a month ago in the U.S. But don't hold your breath for quite a few others to come this year, or ever, to local theaters. And, of course, some of these will likely be the big Oscar contenders.
The upcoming movie with the most amazing ensemble cast has to be "Secret in Their Eyes". Starring Oscar-nominee Chiwetel Ejiofor and Oscar winners Nicole Kidman and Julia Roberts, it's based on a mystery/thriller from Argentina that has already won an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film. It's said to be dark and powerful. Keep your fingers crossed!
For various reasons, I'd be completely shocked if "Carol" makes it here. Oscar-winner Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara ("The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo") play lovers in a complicated relationship in 1950s New York. The award buzz is very strong for this one; it would be a shame if prejudice kept it away from us.
Similarly sensitive material may keep "The Danish Girl" away too. Examining the life of one of the first recipients of gender reassignment surgery, it stars last year's Oscar-winning Best Actor for "The Theory of Everything", Eddie Redmayne, and Alicia Vikander, who starred in two well-regarded (if overlooked) films this year, "Ex Machina" (which also never made it here) and "The Man from U.N.C.L.E."
Opening in limited release in mid-December is "The Big Short", with a big name cast, including Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, Melissa Leo and Marissa Tomei. Pitt is a producer in this film about bankers during the global economic crash that led to the Great Recession in 2008. It's a comedy!
More likely to come -- but probably not until early next year -- (when it opens in wide release) is Quentin Tarantino's "The Hateful Eight". The "Django Unchained" director is back with another western, and once again he's teaming up with Samuel L. Jackson. Set in post-Civil war Wyoming, and also starring Kurt Russell and Jennifer Jason Leigh, it sounds like it will be exceptionally violent -- in true Tarantino fashion.
Last year's Oscar-winning Director Alejandro G. Inarritu ("Birdman") returns with "The Revenant". It's also a western and also set in the 1800s. Multiple Oscar-nominee Leonardo DiCaprio stars along with Tom Hardy "Mad Max: Fury Road". This Christmas Day release will also more than likely not appear here before the New Year's, as it opens wide in the U.S. on January 8.
Everybody's favorite leading-lady-du-jour, Jennifer Lawrence is reuniting with Robert De Niro and Bradley Cooper for "Joy", based on the true story of the inventor of the "Miracle Mop", Joy Mangano. It's said to be a genre-defying comedy-drama. It's also set for a Christmas Day opening.
Other long shots include "Life" starring Robert Pattinson about a photographer who worked with the iconic Life magazine who gets an assignment to shoot rising Hollywood star James Dean in the 1950s. And Michael Fassbender plays "Macbeth" in the one-millionth film adaptation of the Shakespeare play.
Like "Macbeth", "45 Years" is also a British film. It's getting lots of attention internationally. It tells the story of a couple celebrating their 45th anniversary. But their marriage is threatened by some startling news.
That's what the rest of the year holds for us. Some of them sound just all right... others sound incredible. But only one thing is certain -- any of them will probably be better than the crap that's been in local theaters over the past few weeks.
o Dwight Strachan is the host/producer of " Morning Blend" on Guardian Radio. He is a television producer and writer, and an avid TV history and film buff. Email dwight@nasguard.com and follow him on twitter @morningblend969.
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