I want to address a very important subject today. If you are someone who feels you're doing everything in your power to increase your income in your life and business, but you can't seem to experience a breakthrough, I would like to address a likely culprit to that delay today.
I was chatting with an old friend and she was telling me about a partnership that went unexpectedly sour at a very crucial time in her business. She was counting on their collaboration to take her business to the next level. Needless to say the disappointment resulted in serious resentment toward the other party. She felt betrayed.
She said to me, "If so-and-so hadn't been such a liar and did what we agreed things would be better. I wouldn't be struggling right now." She blamed the state of her business on that event, even now, two years later. Two years is a long time in business.
What my friend did not realize is that the blame placed on this event and the resentment she held for her colleague was responsible for stagnating her business. It had nothing to do with a deal that did not work out and everything to do with her response to that disappointment.
So today I would like to offer an opportunity to examine again the power of forgiveness as a tool for income growth. Forgiveness is an extremely powerful tool to stop the mental torment that comes from replaying old hurtful events and clear away negative emotions like resentment, judgment and anger so that your life can reclaim its natural state of abundance.
The problem is we feel like holding onto the past helps us. We think we'll be smarter for next time because it will help us to be aware and more prepared, so we treat it like we would an ally, a buddy keeping us safe for when we experience this again. But it's actually the opposite: holding a grudge and remembering the things someone has done to us does not make us wiser. It sets up an internal emotional and spiritual barrier to the flow of abundance.
When you think about a situation where you've been hurt, it immediately creates negative emotions, which as you already know blocks the good you want. The manifestation of something good into your life requires you to feel good, as if you already have it. It's the faith formula.
Unforgiveness opposes this, it's the direct opposite. We have been taught that you get rewarded for good behavior and punished for bad behavior. So we feel to forgive is to let someone go free, not having to pay the price for the things they have done that were bad and unfair to you.
You think; "there is no way that's right, they deserve to be punished" So you ostracize them, tell everyone what they did to you, thinking you're making them pay. But you're not, you are making yourself pay.
To hold a grudge means we have to keep holding the hurt so that we remember why we don't like a person. All that trash stays and blocks the natural flow of goodness in our life. You are not getting everything you want out of this life. That means you are actually paying for what you think that person did, TWICE!
The Forgiveness Formula - apply daily
I know it's hard. It's extremely hard to release the pain and put the past behind us. But the life we want and deserve requires that we do. So here is how we release unforgiveness and clear this block to abundance.
1) Let go of judgment.
When someone's actions hurt, we come to a conclusion about that person, stick a label on him or her. We say they are just a snake, greedy, selfish, unethical and unfair. Our conclusion is a judgment. That judgment creates anger and resentment. Our judgment is creating the negative feelings we experience. If we remove it, we open the door for the good emotions can enter.
2) Embrace the motivations to forgive.
Good reasons to forgive do not have to be monumental. It can be as simple as wanting to move on or to have peace, or to restore a family or to do business together again at a crucial time. Forgiveness for any reason can bring what we are trying to manifest into our life. What's important is that we embrace it and allow it to take us to the freedom and lightness it promises.
3) Forgive yourself.
We must also be certain to apply this process to forgiving ourselves. This is a very important part. When we don't forgive ourselves for our mistakes we will never truly feel that we deserve more than what we are experiencing right now. We will never truly feel we deserve the abundance of a better income, business, better relationships, better living conditions and better clients.
4) Practice forgiving anyone and everyone all the time.
Make forgiveness a habit. Remember that we cannot control what others do but we can control our response to everything. So we have the opportunity to control how things affect us, whether we allow it to cause constricting emotions that simmer and fester or if we choose to practice forgiveness and lightness no matter the situation. The latter will mean that we let go of our judgments, knowing that nothing has really been done to us, because only our response has any effect on our life.
o Danette Alexandra Malcolm, MSc., is the creator of Kick The Cubicle Habit where she helps Women Entrepreneurs and Solopreneurs to launch and grow their coaching, consulting and service based businesses before leaving their corporate jobs. You can connect with her by sending her an email at: dalexandramalcolm@gmail.com.
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