In part one of “Working wounded”, I highlighted a few areas that some people struggle with in their personal lives that have residual effects on their ability to interact with others, especially in the workplace. In part two I examined how these behaviors manifest at work. In part three, take a look at the characteristics of toxic leaders and their impact on today’s workplace, namely these common ones.

The bully

If you’ve ever been bullied in school and thought you never had to face it again, think twice. Bullies grow up but some don’t grow out of it. What is a bully like at work and what if he or she is your boss?

If your boss is a bully, he or she leads by intimidation, fear, threats and tight control. The bully does not take kindly to input, suggestions or questions as they see this as challenging their authority. They subscribe to the Theory X style of management that believes that people are lazy and need to be directed, controlled and threatened in order to be productive.

At their heart of hearts, just like the bullies of the playground, these people are either driven by deep insecurities or fears of their own, causing them to lash out at those around them, fooled by the false belief that they are respected and are getting results.

What they are getting is compliance, not commitment. What happens when their backs are turned is what they should be up at night wondering about. There is no loyalty or engagement in the team, and at the first opportunity, the team may run for the hills to a better work environment or gladly leave this leader exposed to fall flat and fail.

The narcissist

We see narcissists as villains or “psychos” in movies but never our boss. Narcissism is actually a form of a personality disorder where one has an inflated sense of self. According to Psychology Today, narcissists “generally believe that the world revolves around them. This condition is characterized by a lack of ability to empathize with others and a desire to keep the focus on themselves at all times”.

How does this play out in the workplace? The narcissist is manipulative, arrogant, demanding and doesn’t care about the feelings of others. It is all about getting their own way and being adored while they do. Narcissists’ favorite topic of conversation is about themselves, how well liked they are, all their great accomplishments and unrealistically grandiose plans of fame and wonder. They view it as having high self-esteem, but they lack the humility that people with high self-esteem have.

The sad part is that narcissists are not hiding insecurity behind their flashy façades. They actually believe their own hype. They are quite at home with putting others down, shaming, blaming and abusing power just to prove the point that they are in charge. It is actually quite thrilling to them to see others uncomfortable, frustrated, angry and in pain because they see it as successfully dominating others.

The micromanager

Any free-thinking, problem-solving professional dreads the micromanager. Instead of empowering the team to make decisions or be creative, the micromanager must have everything his or her way. Whether rooted in perfectionism, fear or insecurity, the micromanager does not trust the team to make decisions or veer away from his or her way of doing things.

While any smart leader will check the work of the team to ensure quality and compliance, micromanaging can suffocate the genuine efforts of people that desire challenge and pushing the envelope of their potential. One thing is certain: people of that mindset cannot be micromanaged for very long, and the organization runs the risk of losing talented people to a more liberal environment. As the adage says: People leave people, not jobs.

The socializer

The socializer leader has crossed all lines of professional distance with the team. The socializer wants to “hang out” with the team, creating or attending social events even outside of work. One may say, “How is this toxic? This boss is cool!” But it is toxic when the team feels hard-pressed to say no to the boss and feels under obligation to go for fear of retaliation. It is toxic when the boss wants to come to your home or family functions or encroach on your personal time.

This may seem cool at first but the lines become blurred when it is time for this boss to actually be a boss. The team may be confused by the fun-loving boss off the clock and the stickler for high performance on the clock. Or the team may lose respect for the leader at work, acting according to the casual norms to which they are accustomed and thereby undermining this leader’s efforts to actually lead.

The parent

The parent, like the socializer, may seem on the surface to be a great leader. In fact, there is a paternalistic leadership style that fosters concern for the overall well-being of the team. This becomes toxic when the leader feels an unhealthy need to get involved in every aspect of his or her team’s life. I have spoken to a few people who have had bosses like this and they did not welcome the intrusion these people made on their personal lives and choices. These are the bosses who want to comment on who you are dating, give marital advice, be your financial advisor and, ultimately, be your work ‘mom’ or ‘dad’.

I knew a boss who denied paying vacation pay to his team because he said they would not spend it properly and come back broke from vacation. To do this is not his business and is against the law. Not only is this off-putting for an adult employee, but it puts the employee in a compromised position because again, fear of reprisal lurks in the shadows. Yes, leaders can be mentors, but a mentorship is a mutually agreed relationship. At the end of the day, leaders are not responsible for the personal decisions of their team unless invited.

These toxic leadership styles are quite challenging to handle. In “Working wounded, part four”, we will look at ways you can survive and thrive in a toxic workplace, even if it means you must ‘go to grow’, as is my belief and mantra.

• Simmone L. Bowe, MSc. is a human resource and organization development specialist, speaker, trainer, author and mentor who focuses on helping business leaders and professionals navigate the turning points of their organizations and careers to develop high performing, purpose-driven people, teams and organizations. For comments and queries, email sbowe94@gmail.com.

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