Feminist: The other F-word

Wed, Jul 23rd 2014, 10:20 AM

Fuming and trying hard not to cuss, I dialed Guardian Radio hoping that, at six minutes to 9 a.m. when the show was about to end and I should have really been walking out my door to get somewhere for the same time, I could still get through to say my piece on the topic. After seven busy signals, I finally broke into the conversation and the producer sent me straight to air. I was so incensed, I only greeted the host and forgot to bid a good morning to the co-host and guests in-studio.
You see, when I am really angry or extremely impassioned, all my words fight for simultaneous, rapid expulsion. When this happens, I can only do one of two things: whisper or holler. There's no middle ground for my volume, once I am infuriated. Yet, on that morning, I managed to maintain my composure just long enough to whisper the necessary words in the few minutes of talk time remaining on my favorite talk show, before the whisper became a roar.
I was so excited that this particular radio station, heavily laden with male presenters, was bringing a program that was women-focused to the air waves. And, I was told that the new host they were interviewing on the morning show was experienced and 'no-nonsense', so I was looking forward to the possibility of honest and sufficiently uncensored conversations about women's issues. I could even become a 'chronic caller', because I have so much to say already.
But, that morning, I was stumped and stunned at the fact that the women representing in the studio had already submitted to the negativity and ignorance of one ridiculous caller who was clearly anti-woman and didn't think the new show should even exist. Why he takes the time to call Guardian Radio on a regular basis when he's so displeased with the station's shows must be something logical only to a certain Bahamian mindset.
In spite of his inane accusations, the women, in the moment, had allowed this man to bulldoze them, in an attempt to be politically correct, when they should have instead stood their ground and taken him to school on this issue.
He accused the new show and host of being feminist, but it was clear he does not know the definition of the word, and/or is himself not a feminist. What should have been clarified for him immediately following his remark, and with great pride, is that the show was entirely feminist and intended to be, as its tag line suggests: 'From a woman's perspective'.
Who are the feminists?
What Inane Caller and many others do not understand is that feminism is not an undesirable thing. A feminist is not a bad type of person to be, and, for the sake of the mass improvement of our world, everyone should be a feminist. A feminist also does not equate to a lesbian, though I'm sure some lesbians are feminists, as they should be by their own definition. And feminists are not inherently male-bashers.
Feminists are female, but they are male, too. Many triumphs have been won for women because of the commitments of men to women's causes. In actuality, there are many men, sadly, who are more feminist than some women, and who will fight on behalf of all women when women themselves will lie down and be trampled on instead of standing up for their own rights and equality.
A feminist is any person who supports the full equality of females and males anywhere in the world.
So, I'm thinking, if this rascal caller wanted to use the word 'feminist', he really ought to have learned the definition of it first. And I'm disappointed that my fellow women and men in the studio did not preconceive this challenge before the show opened and developed their game plan on how to rebut it.
I'm further disappointed that all in studio did not own up (sooner) to the title of feminist while simultaneously educating the uninformed caller on a matter about which he was distinctly misguided. They fell into his trap within a matter of seconds, and it is a setback which requires an immediate and convincing comeback.
When you're fighting this battle for womankind, in Bahamian culture or anywhere else, you have to come out swinging - not viciously, but boldly, and you have to be ready to punch back against the onslaught, because you are already identified as a biased troublemaker and negative people will begin this conversation by throwing blows at you.
It's no secret to anyone, male or female, that women, by virtue of their gender, are marginalized in every society of the world, obviously some far worse than others. The ways in which this injustice happens in India, for example, may be very different from its manifestations in Iceland. And the treatment of women in New Zealand may be quite unlike the treatment of women in The Bahamas. But just because a woman isn't being sexually or physically assaulted, getting raped or beaten, it doesn't mean she's not being discriminated against, or that her needs, hopes, ambitions, desires and opportunities are not being smothered or reduced to second class importance.
Cultural deficiencies, low expectations
The very manner in which our Bahamian/Caribbean/Western society is structured creates the distinctions between men and women, which, for decades and centuries, we have observed and continue to observe as norms and which in turn create root biases and the reduction of the status of women, particularly in contrast to men.
(Bahamian) men are taught that marriage to a woman gives them ownership of that woman. They are conditioned to believe that men are meant to possess a wife, a family and a household, and be in charge of them all, such that the man is the apex of the home, and his meals must be prepared, and he must be waited on, and his clothes and his house must be cleaned by the wife (or the daughters or the maid, also female). And all of this is because it is the way it was 'intended to be'. As long as you have a religion that is based in Christianity, as the majority of Bahamians, Afro-Caribbeans and Westerners do, a man is always first, or at the top, and the woman is relegated to second position, from where she should support the man no matter what.
Why do we think, then, that women are continually regarded as the lesser gender of humankind? In spite of the work they do in their families, communities and countries, their leadership and contributions to progress are not as respected as the leadership of men. And it is such an established norm that women themselves propagate it.
For what other reason could a Bahamian man feel so correct in saying "How much more rights do Bahamian women want or need?"
Well, sir, if you're not a (Bahamian) woman, chances are you ain't gonna understand this here hustle.
The way a man perceives a woman's life is based on his perception of his own life and what society tells him is the woman's role in it. And if everything remains in place just as society has taught him (and women) it should, in the way that brings him the most comfort, pleasure, opportunity and success, then what else do you think he's going to say about his dominion?
To inform and to educate
I'm looking forward to the success of the new women-driven radio show, because I desperately want women in The Bahamas to have a more united and resilient voice in their own country on the issues that impact upon them most and to have a stronger hand in turning their own lives around for the best, not the better.
But it has to begin with each individual woman having a rehabilitated mentality about her purpose in life.
If you understand it, then let no one else misunderstand it: every person who is in support of women's equality, empowerment, protection and success is a feminist. Let's discontinue the misrepresentation of the English language that suggests the word 'feminist' is a dirty one, particularly when we don't know the definition of the word or can't respect its connotative value. And, when we do know the correct definition and the supreme value in the word 'feminist', let's make sure that we all embrace it and own it fully, especially when challenged, because if we're ever going to get anywhere with our efforts to improve the individual (mental, emotional and physical) conditions of all women in The Bahamas, we have to first own our individual feminist identities.
o Facebook.com/NicoleBurrows

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